Hitman the Movie Review: I want my 90 minutes back

March 29, 2009 at 5:27 am | In movie reviews | Leave a Comment
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Now I don’t consider myself dumb, nor does my family, nor does my friends, nor does the people I work with. I just didn’t get this movie. Every Friday I have some friends over to watch a movie and I chose, based on the twisted recommendation of the salesman, to buy the blu-ray version of Hitman.

What a waste of time and money. Here’s the movie in a nutshell:

Cons

- Crazy, weak, and incomprehensible plot.
- Director must’ve been on crack or something, because the tatoo of the woman in one scene was on one cheek, a few seconds later, it was on the other, and it remained there for the rest of the movie.
- The quality of the blu-ray sucks (but doesn’t suck as much as the Stargate movie)
- You don’t even care what’s going on, you just want the damn thing to get finished, because you’re not even watching, and the sound is creating a diversion from the much more interesting conversation you’re having with your friends.
- There’s only one person from that movie that I recognized, the Interpol detective (or whatever you want to call him).
- When I said that you just don’t care what’s going on, I really meant it!

Pros

- The movie is only 90 minutes.

Unless you’re 12 and you don’t care if the movie has no plot, and directed by someone probably your age, the I suggest you move along, there’s nothing for you here.

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